Is my handwriting blowing your mind? Allow me to translate:

“Dane and James’ Lost Dreams!”

Cruise Ship + Roller Coaster = Awesome.

Smoke (cruise ship also makes dirt bike sounds) BRAAP-BRAAP!

PROBLEM: No one is signing up for spring break in Cancun for 2010… some say it’s too early, but those people are wrong (and probably stupid, too). We say it’s because of SWINE FLU (aka H1N1, for that bitchy pig lobby).

…just means more bacon for the rest of us.

SOLUTION: “Dane and James’ Lost Dreams,” a cruise ship that caters to the real target user group of cruise ships!

• People who own Harley Davidson t-shirts (but no longer have the sleeves to go along with them) – used to be black, but went through the wash too many times…
• People with fanny packs (preferably in bright colors).
• People who have a favorite monster truck driver.
• People with multiple chins.
• People who shouldn’t wear swimsuits, nor own them.
• People who live in dorms, or still wish they did.

FUCK THE CASINO. We’re doing an entire deck of mini-fridges and microwaves and TV dinners. (not to mention TV desserts!)

VODKA + JELLO CAKE = VODELLO CAKE

Luxurious Double-Wide Toilet Paper
America demands Brawny on its ass.